Over the years I’ve tried a variety of responses to sexual harassment on the street.  I’m a big fan of drawing attention to inappropriate behavior for the entire community to judge.  You’ve probably heard the story of the woman on a subway who found someone groping her?  She grabbed his hand, held it up in the air and shouted “Does anyone know whose this is?  I found it on my ass!”  Take the shame and secrecy away - say what just happened.

I found a great community-wide project called HollaBack that encourages just that.  Women are invited to take cell phone photos of men harassing them and send them directly to a website to be published.  There are subpages for different cities, and a great video about the project here.

I have experienced a WIDE continuum of harassment - for example, at least twice in college I was followed while walking by a man in a car masturbating and calling out to me.  If I had a time travel machine, I would ensure both of those guys were immediately arrested.

To be perfectly honest, this is one of my least-favorite questions. I feel aggrieved to point out that self-defense is deeply personal and complicated to learn, that every student is different, that there are no “one size fits all” techniques. Frankly, if “tips” worked we’d have them all memorized by now and be living in a world of peace and justice.It’s not that simple.

That said – yes – I have tips!

Say no. Practice saying no to requests you feel pressured to go along with. Whether it’s loaning a co-worker another $5, or giving your sister a ride, or staying late at the office. The more difficult it is for you to say – the more you’ll benefit from this practice. Most perpetrators test their victims verbally long before exerting any physical force. No is a complete sentence, try it!

Yell. Loud and often. Shout NO or Leave Me Alone or whatever you want, just start shouting. It will break through the fight-flight-or-freeze response, may attract help, and will startle many attackers into giving up. Practice in the car if you’re feeling shy or goofy, we’ll just think you’re yelling at traffic.

Don’t get in the car. If you aren’t feeling safe, don’t get in the car with someone. Even if he’s threatening you, even if you don’t feel safe at your current location, and even if he promises not to hurt you. Someone who wants to get you in a car (his or yours) is planning to take you somewhere less safe than where you are now.

Tell someone. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable around anyone in your life, ask for help. Shame often prevents victims from revealing ongoing patterns of humiliation, sexual harassment, or sexual abuse. If your ex- won’t stop calling, if your boss hugs you too long, if your father keeps walking into the bathroom when you’re naked, tell someone. If the first person you tell doesn’t help (or worse, implies it’s your fault) tell someone else!

Targets and weapons. Target an assailant’s eyes, throat, groin, and knees. Use your fingers, palms, elbows, and feet. Strike hard and shout NO while you’re striking. This isn’t rocket science, you might be surprised to know how quickly you can break off most attempted assaults.

I saw an amazing film recently - Amandla! A Revolution in Four Part Harmony is a documentary about the centrality of music in the struggle against apartheid in South Africa, especially in the 1980’s. What moved me most was the description of music as a form of self-defense.

The Black South Africans faced simply insurmountable odds, an entrenched and well-armed police state willing to use as much violence as necessary to destroy them. But they were led by the artists and the musicians and the dancers, both inside the country and in exile. The dvd has some astonishing interviews with ex-military officers and prison wardens. These white men (some heart-broken and repentant, some not) try to convey what it felt like to hear a condemned man singing a victory song on his way to the gallows. Or to watch thousands of children dancing toward their machine guns.

Can singing as self-defense really work? Well. Here’s a link to the revolution on the South African Embassy’s Website in Washington, D.C.